I was just reading another article about another conservative politician toting along the same old worn out rhetoric about women serving in combat situations (which is to say they shouldn't because of cliches X, Y, and Z).
Then follows the inevitable argument that if women want all the same military rights and priviledges that men have, then women should also have to register for the draft. Fair, unfair, to draft or not to draft, to send into combat or keep her in the kitchen, yadda yadda yadda... really, the arguments are ultimately all moot *if* one thinks about it this way:
If we can't manage to draft enough people into the military to win a war--if the public doesn't support a war enough to organically generate an all-volunteer military to fight for a particular cause--and if we truly live in a democracy where the law of the land is determined by the will of the people--then maybe we shouldn't be fighting said war in the first place.
I say it isn't an argument of whether or not women should be included in the draft. I say the only just option is to end the draft altogether.
Besides, we don't need bodies anymore. We have secret buttons and "smart bombs" to do the work...kind of like replacing factory workers with machines, only with more pizzaz.
Go ahead. Tell me all the reasons why I am woefully mistaken. John was always my favorite Beatle because he was a dreamer.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Things that cross my mind lately but I don't have the discipline to sit down and write about them
Let's start with girls. As I got older I learned to appreciate the need for a solid group of girlfriends, you know, in a Secret Life of Bees kind of way, but growing up I had a lot of trouble liking or trusting other girls my age. Now that my daughter is in kindergarten, I relive the horror. I guess I didn't realize--or had forgotten?--that girl bullying starts so damn early. It started when she came home from school one day and didn't want to sing in the school concert because her "sweater [was] silly." (It was not silly--it was a black, red and white scottie dog sweater and it was awesome.) Apparently some girl at school made fun of her outfit and told her she didn't sing pretty, so she wanted to just skip this concert that she'd been excited about for over a week. Somehow I convinced her to change into something that would make her feel more comfortable (it took her an hour) and the show went on. But in weeks to follow, my daughter stopped wearing some of her favorite clothes. The zebra print leggings got pushed into the back of the drawer, the good Nike athletic shoes were all but forgotten, and much fancier outfits--like, way overkill for a day at school--started being worn. As I see it, here's what's going on. First, the girl bully puts her down because the girl bully is a future Regina, queen of all she surveys, and she wants to be the alpha girl. I thing the other problem is that "Regina" has a crush on my daughter's little boyfriend, so she keeps pulling my daughter aside and saying that *E doesn't want to play with my daughter anymore.
Today I found it interesting that my daughter chose new playmates at recess--all of them boys (including her older brother). And "Regina" wanted to play freeze tag, too, but my daughter wouldn't let her. This is tit for tat, as Queen Bee excluded my daughter in the same way earlier this week. So then I have to have this talk with my daughter about not excluding poeple, remember how she made you feel, how do you think she felt when you excluded her... Then I stopped and said, "T, I know you don't feel like that girl deserves your kindness, and you're probably right. She hasn't been very nice to you. But we all have to learn to be nice even to the people who aren't particularly nice to us. People who aren't nice are usually angry or unhappy about something, so if you think about that, you might be able to see them differently."
But beneath this advice what I am really thinking is, "That girl's lousy sense of self esteem, which makes her an insecure little bully, is going to plague my daughter for at least the next 5 1/2 years, or at worst, the next 12 1/2 ."
And how could I forget to mention the theft from my daughter's locker? (They don't actually lock, so I use the term loosely.) One week it's her new chapstick. The next week it's her mini bottle of hand sanitizer. Then it was her brand new Little Mermaid umbrella, which she had bought the day before with her own money. The unbrella was returned, but not the other things. That is, unless you count that my daughter saw her hand sanitizer in another girl's hands and stole it back.
In short, I have decided that where other people's kids are concerned, I'd rather they stayed home and left my baby alone. I've made the obligatory comments like "Maybe they are just jealous of you because they like your boyfriend," and "Well I think that outfit is cool!" and "Who cares what other people think? You do what you like to do, and if those other girls don't like it, find better friends." And come on, parents, we all know we're spewing loads of bullshit that most of us don't even believe (e.g. "Who cares what other people think?" because we all do, really).
So what I am probably doing is teaching my child to be like me--and like her grandma--and keep being nice to people who treat her like dirt when really she should just be telling them to hit the highway. 'Cause let me tell you; I've spent years trying to kill people with kindness (one of these days I might even write about the story of my principal and the birthday cake I brought for him that I am 99.9999% sure he threw in the garbage--which would make a ton of sense in retrospect because unbeknownst to me, he spent the entire year trying to figure out how he could fire me and promote his friends instead). So much for extending kindness. The guy was having a really, really bad week and I thought a cake might perk up his spirits. So the lesson I learned is don't be nice because it just makes you look like a fool in the end.
Other things.
I think I should start making a top ten list of dumb things people say when they find out I am eating a vegan diet. This just never stops. I know these people are well meaning, but...No, I am not anemic. Yes, I am getting my essential vitamins and minerals. No, I do not need that much protein--and you probably don't either--but thanks for the suggestions. Yes, I understand your theories about how humans were always meant to be omnivores, but you see, we no longer live in caves and small huts where if we don't hack down a few bears or buffalo for the winter, we will be likley to starve (and maybe even freeze) to death. We now have grocery stores where we can buy anything at any time. If I need essential fat, I'll have an avocado. My nuts and nutbutters give me protein. I can buy watermelon in the middle of February for God's sake.
So. First off, my life choices aren't funny. They are also not ill informed, ignorant, or misguided. When I have company at my house, I don't tell them that the meat they are eating is killing them. I don't call up omnivorous friends and tell them that they are more likely to get cancer than I am (that's true, by the way). I don't make rude comments about other people's orders when I go to a restaraunt. Who are these people and at what point did they learn that they know everything? It's ridiculous. If you're one of those people, do everyone a favor. Shut up.
I guess that's all for now. This isn't a particularly eloquent or long entry, and it's likely dreadfully uninteresting, but I needed to get back on the wagon. I come up with ideas for things I'd like to write about on almost a daily basis, but life gets in the way, right?
Today I found it interesting that my daughter chose new playmates at recess--all of them boys (including her older brother). And "Regina" wanted to play freeze tag, too, but my daughter wouldn't let her. This is tit for tat, as Queen Bee excluded my daughter in the same way earlier this week. So then I have to have this talk with my daughter about not excluding poeple, remember how she made you feel, how do you think she felt when you excluded her... Then I stopped and said, "T, I know you don't feel like that girl deserves your kindness, and you're probably right. She hasn't been very nice to you. But we all have to learn to be nice even to the people who aren't particularly nice to us. People who aren't nice are usually angry or unhappy about something, so if you think about that, you might be able to see them differently."
But beneath this advice what I am really thinking is, "That girl's lousy sense of self esteem, which makes her an insecure little bully, is going to plague my daughter for at least the next 5 1/2 years, or at worst, the next 12 1/2 ."
And how could I forget to mention the theft from my daughter's locker? (They don't actually lock, so I use the term loosely.) One week it's her new chapstick. The next week it's her mini bottle of hand sanitizer. Then it was her brand new Little Mermaid umbrella, which she had bought the day before with her own money. The unbrella was returned, but not the other things. That is, unless you count that my daughter saw her hand sanitizer in another girl's hands and stole it back.
In short, I have decided that where other people's kids are concerned, I'd rather they stayed home and left my baby alone. I've made the obligatory comments like "Maybe they are just jealous of you because they like your boyfriend," and "Well I think that outfit is cool!" and "Who cares what other people think? You do what you like to do, and if those other girls don't like it, find better friends." And come on, parents, we all know we're spewing loads of bullshit that most of us don't even believe (e.g. "Who cares what other people think?" because we all do, really).
So what I am probably doing is teaching my child to be like me--and like her grandma--and keep being nice to people who treat her like dirt when really she should just be telling them to hit the highway. 'Cause let me tell you; I've spent years trying to kill people with kindness (one of these days I might even write about the story of my principal and the birthday cake I brought for him that I am 99.9999% sure he threw in the garbage--which would make a ton of sense in retrospect because unbeknownst to me, he spent the entire year trying to figure out how he could fire me and promote his friends instead). So much for extending kindness. The guy was having a really, really bad week and I thought a cake might perk up his spirits. So the lesson I learned is don't be nice because it just makes you look like a fool in the end.
Other things.
I think I should start making a top ten list of dumb things people say when they find out I am eating a vegan diet. This just never stops. I know these people are well meaning, but...No, I am not anemic. Yes, I am getting my essential vitamins and minerals. No, I do not need that much protein--and you probably don't either--but thanks for the suggestions. Yes, I understand your theories about how humans were always meant to be omnivores, but you see, we no longer live in caves and small huts where if we don't hack down a few bears or buffalo for the winter, we will be likley to starve (and maybe even freeze) to death. We now have grocery stores where we can buy anything at any time. If I need essential fat, I'll have an avocado. My nuts and nutbutters give me protein. I can buy watermelon in the middle of February for God's sake.
So. First off, my life choices aren't funny. They are also not ill informed, ignorant, or misguided. When I have company at my house, I don't tell them that the meat they are eating is killing them. I don't call up omnivorous friends and tell them that they are more likely to get cancer than I am (that's true, by the way). I don't make rude comments about other people's orders when I go to a restaraunt. Who are these people and at what point did they learn that they know everything? It's ridiculous. If you're one of those people, do everyone a favor. Shut up.
I guess that's all for now. This isn't a particularly eloquent or long entry, and it's likely dreadfully uninteresting, but I needed to get back on the wagon. I come up with ideas for things I'd like to write about on almost a daily basis, but life gets in the way, right?
Thursday, January 19, 2012
The "Stuff Dilemma"
Every so often, once or twice a year, I get an insatiable urge to get rid of all the crap that accumulates in my home. I admit that I have a penchant for collecting things that go beyond the realm of human necessity, but this place just gets ridiculous. My son and I are fairly adept at purging the old to make room for the new. We regularly put together donation boxes full of clothes that are no longer worn, toys that have ceased to be interesting, and things of the like. My daughter and her father, however, are a different story. They inherited my mother-in-law's packrat gene. Once it's in the house, it isn't supposed to leave.
My husband will take offense and try to convince you that I speak false, but he's deluding himself. This is a man who, when I moved in with him, had a box full of random documents and reciepts that included small bits of paper with phone numbers written on them. The problem was that there were no names to accompany the phone numbers. I also recall a certain pair of "jams" (look up that 80's fashion trend, young 'uns) that held no sentimental value and that he was never, ever going to wear again. His mother used to be afraid to pull his things out of her basement and send them to our house for fear that I would throw them away. I did no such thing. I just did my damndest to convince him that he should throw them away.
And my daughter...oh my daughter. She is the ultimate consumer. She wants to buy crap every time we step foot in a store. Already own six hats? Need another. Have several purses in the closet? There's always room for one more. I will admit that she and I both have a thing for shoes that is a little out of control (okay maybe a lot out of control), but a properly attired woman does need several different colors and styles of shoes. And boots. Right?
So as I sit here pondering what I am going to do about all this stuff--mind you I just looked at the clock and it is 2:00 a.m., yet I start putting together boxes and bags anyway because I just can't take it anymore--I am putting together a list of all the stuff that we just plain don't need, things that need to go, and even things that should have never made it into the house to begin with.
1. Let's start with the paper bag full of other paper bags that I found in the basement about an hour ago. I think I put that together to go out to the curb on recycling day. How it ended up in storage is beyond me.
2. At the risk of looking a gift horse in the mouth, we have a problem with the accumulation of things from family members who buy our kids stuff we don't ask for or need. Like puzzles. I just found about eight puzzles, all mixed up and with pieces missing, of course, in a storage unit behind the couch. I don't think the kids even remember them. But this is the kind of thing I'm taking about. I appreciate that people want to buy a little something for my kids, but they don't need much. Jim suggested setting up a Paypal account so that if people feel like giving the kids something they can just toss in 20 bucks for them to go to college. I told him it's a clever, yet useless, idea. No one would do it; they'd still just buy stuff. Personally, I'd rather if people want to get gifts for my children that they pay for them to take some kind of lessons (dance, art, music, whatever), foot the bill for the kids to go to a workshop or camp (Cub Scout day camp, science camp in summer), purchase family museum memberships for the places the kids love to visit, or just take them on a trip somewhere.
3. Don't get me started on the cheap crappy toys that break within a week.
4. And while we're on the subject, I want to strangle the person whose idea it was to put plastic junk into kids meals. The toys are stupid, are forgotten about within hours, and are fodder for landfills.
5. I need to learn to admit to myself that I am never going to use all those sewing patterns.
6. My husband has a thing for keeping empty boxes--the ones for his music gear, the vacuum cleaner box, some old packaging from a radio control car toy--you know, things we desperately need.
7. Why do we have a huge, heavy, old rotary phone??
8. Ooooh, those impulse buys at craft stores because they are on clearance and I sure love making stuff! Now if only I could find the time.
9. Oh, and then there are the things I become obsessed with for a while and then lose interest in. I was really into canning until I stopped wanting to eat food that had been processed (even at home on my own stove). Now I have a colossal stash of mason jars just sitting in boxes.
10. At least I have learned about purchasing junk thinking I couldn't afford something better--only to have to toss it and buy something better. Add to this list three blenders, one food dehydrator, and seven or eight vacuum cleaners. In the end I had to admit that my husband was right. We are too poor to buy cheap crap. Now I have a $100 blender, an Excalibur dehydrator, and a Dyson vacuum. Had I just bought those things in the first place I'd have saved money and contributed less to the size of local landfills.
11. Stuffed f**king animals. I could open a zoo.
12. Worksheets from school--UGH! The kids' teachers kill more trees than I care to think about. Every day these folders come home with worksheet after worksheet that I have to throw away when the kids aren't looking lest I hurt their feelings. But what's really hard to contend with is the art project stuff. As a parent, I feel like a total jerk throwing it away, but at the same time, how am I supposed to save every last thing that my children ever touched with a glue stick?
13. HOLIDAY JUNK. I can't tell you how many people have given us Christmas and Halloween decorations. Last year I owned FOUR freaking Christmas trees. I'm down to two. I no longer find joy in decorating even one of them. I have more important things to do than deal with holiday decorations.
14. Why the hell do we own all these books? Half this information--if not more--can now be learned via conducting a basic Google search.
15. Then there's the cupboards. That local bee pollen that was supposed to keep me from having horrible seasonal allergies in the spring? Please. Just get me about 100 doses of Benadryl, because nothing else works. Those crackers that were opened then shoved so far back on the shelf that nobody could see them anymore? So stale not even the birds want them.
And this is only the beginning. I've barely had a chance to graze the surface of the "Stuff Dilemma" in this house. I sit here and try to convince myself that things are going to change, but I've been exercising "The Purge" multiple times per year for over a decade and it doesn't leave me with a whole lot of hope. Good God,show us how to just let go of all of this stuff. It just clutters up our house, our lives, and ultimately, our planet. Things seriously need to change around here. Except for the size of my bead stash. You never know when I might need about 30 pounds of beads.
My husband will take offense and try to convince you that I speak false, but he's deluding himself. This is a man who, when I moved in with him, had a box full of random documents and reciepts that included small bits of paper with phone numbers written on them. The problem was that there were no names to accompany the phone numbers. I also recall a certain pair of "jams" (look up that 80's fashion trend, young 'uns) that held no sentimental value and that he was never, ever going to wear again. His mother used to be afraid to pull his things out of her basement and send them to our house for fear that I would throw them away. I did no such thing. I just did my damndest to convince him that he should throw them away.
And my daughter...oh my daughter. She is the ultimate consumer. She wants to buy crap every time we step foot in a store. Already own six hats? Need another. Have several purses in the closet? There's always room for one more. I will admit that she and I both have a thing for shoes that is a little out of control (okay maybe a lot out of control), but a properly attired woman does need several different colors and styles of shoes. And boots. Right?
So as I sit here pondering what I am going to do about all this stuff--mind you I just looked at the clock and it is 2:00 a.m., yet I start putting together boxes and bags anyway because I just can't take it anymore--I am putting together a list of all the stuff that we just plain don't need, things that need to go, and even things that should have never made it into the house to begin with.
1. Let's start with the paper bag full of other paper bags that I found in the basement about an hour ago. I think I put that together to go out to the curb on recycling day. How it ended up in storage is beyond me.
2. At the risk of looking a gift horse in the mouth, we have a problem with the accumulation of things from family members who buy our kids stuff we don't ask for or need. Like puzzles. I just found about eight puzzles, all mixed up and with pieces missing, of course, in a storage unit behind the couch. I don't think the kids even remember them. But this is the kind of thing I'm taking about. I appreciate that people want to buy a little something for my kids, but they don't need much. Jim suggested setting up a Paypal account so that if people feel like giving the kids something they can just toss in 20 bucks for them to go to college. I told him it's a clever, yet useless, idea. No one would do it; they'd still just buy stuff. Personally, I'd rather if people want to get gifts for my children that they pay for them to take some kind of lessons (dance, art, music, whatever), foot the bill for the kids to go to a workshop or camp (Cub Scout day camp, science camp in summer), purchase family museum memberships for the places the kids love to visit, or just take them on a trip somewhere.
3. Don't get me started on the cheap crappy toys that break within a week.
4. And while we're on the subject, I want to strangle the person whose idea it was to put plastic junk into kids meals. The toys are stupid, are forgotten about within hours, and are fodder for landfills.
5. I need to learn to admit to myself that I am never going to use all those sewing patterns.
6. My husband has a thing for keeping empty boxes--the ones for his music gear, the vacuum cleaner box, some old packaging from a radio control car toy--you know, things we desperately need.
7. Why do we have a huge, heavy, old rotary phone??
8. Ooooh, those impulse buys at craft stores because they are on clearance and I sure love making stuff! Now if only I could find the time.
9. Oh, and then there are the things I become obsessed with for a while and then lose interest in. I was really into canning until I stopped wanting to eat food that had been processed (even at home on my own stove). Now I have a colossal stash of mason jars just sitting in boxes.
10. At least I have learned about purchasing junk thinking I couldn't afford something better--only to have to toss it and buy something better. Add to this list three blenders, one food dehydrator, and seven or eight vacuum cleaners. In the end I had to admit that my husband was right. We are too poor to buy cheap crap. Now I have a $100 blender, an Excalibur dehydrator, and a Dyson vacuum. Had I just bought those things in the first place I'd have saved money and contributed less to the size of local landfills.
11. Stuffed f**king animals. I could open a zoo.
12. Worksheets from school--UGH! The kids' teachers kill more trees than I care to think about. Every day these folders come home with worksheet after worksheet that I have to throw away when the kids aren't looking lest I hurt their feelings. But what's really hard to contend with is the art project stuff. As a parent, I feel like a total jerk throwing it away, but at the same time, how am I supposed to save every last thing that my children ever touched with a glue stick?
13. HOLIDAY JUNK. I can't tell you how many people have given us Christmas and Halloween decorations. Last year I owned FOUR freaking Christmas trees. I'm down to two. I no longer find joy in decorating even one of them. I have more important things to do than deal with holiday decorations.
14. Why the hell do we own all these books? Half this information--if not more--can now be learned via conducting a basic Google search.
15. Then there's the cupboards. That local bee pollen that was supposed to keep me from having horrible seasonal allergies in the spring? Please. Just get me about 100 doses of Benadryl, because nothing else works. Those crackers that were opened then shoved so far back on the shelf that nobody could see them anymore? So stale not even the birds want them.
And this is only the beginning. I've barely had a chance to graze the surface of the "Stuff Dilemma" in this house. I sit here and try to convince myself that things are going to change, but I've been exercising "The Purge" multiple times per year for over a decade and it doesn't leave me with a whole lot of hope. Good God,show us how to just let go of all of this stuff. It just clutters up our house, our lives, and ultimately, our planet. Things seriously need to change around here. Except for the size of my bead stash. You never know when I might need about 30 pounds of beads.
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