I am her mother, and yes, I have seen this video

My 11-year-old daughter has had an interest in creating short video movies ever since she could hold an iPad.  Last year, when she got her first iPod, I allowed her to create a YouTube account so that she could have a place to save and upload her videos.  I don't really watch them unless she asks me to look because for the most part she creates cutsey little pre-teen plots that she acts out with her Littlest Pet Shop toys, which isn't really my thing, but she's my daughter and she loves doing this and frankly, she's pretty imaginative.  So instead of monitoring everything she creates and posts to YouTube, I allow her freedom to do her thing and I subscribe to her account so that I am aware when she uploads new work.

Imagine my surprise one day when just before I went to lunch on a work day, I received an e-mail alert that one of my 5th grader's YouTube videos had 18,000 likes.

What could my daughter have uploaded that could possibly receive 18,000 likes?!

So I watched it.  And I didn't know what to say.  Or what to think.  Or if I should be alarmed.

First, I texted her stepdad and he was like, "Um, people aren't going to think that was supposed to be me, will they?"  Then I shared my story with a couple of trusted coworkers, who were taken aback as well. I wondered if I should call her father and see what he thought, but I didn't. And I thought about it for the first half of my 40 minute car ride home from work.

Half way home, noting that she would be off the bus and in the house by that time, I called her.

"I noticed that your latest LPS video has 18,000 views!" I said.  "How on earth do you think that happened?"

"I don't know!" she said, clearly excited and proud to have become so popular--perhaps even thinking that she was on her way to becoming a "Famous YouTuber" in her own right.

I continued.  "So, that subject material was pretty heavy, right?  What made you come up with the idea for that story?"

She went on to tell me that she had seen another YouTube video about a girl who was sexually abused, and how the girl became so depressed that she eventually committed suicide.  My daughter decided that she should make a public service announcement of sorts.  She said, "I just wanted to warn people, Mom.  I don't want people to think that they can't tell an adult.  I don't want people to commit suicide."

...

I told her that I thought that was a very nice thing to do, and that I was proud of her for wanting to help other people.  I also reminded her that we would want her to take her own advice and let us know if anything like that ever happened to her, no matter who was behind it, because we would never be mad at her.  She pretty much acted like I was a moron for thinking I would need to tell her such a thing - because like, duh, of course she would tell us.

Preteens.

Fast forward to now.  It's been a couple of months and I notice yesterday that her video now has over 219,000 views.  What the heck?!

Then I see the comments.  I read them and I am sad, because I hope she hasn't been reading them.  Because I want her to disable the comments altogether. Because people are judgmental and cruel, even to an 11-year-old girl who just did what she thought was her part in helping end sexual assault, sexual abuse, depression, and suicide.

But I haven't yet - because maybe she needs to know how people are. Maybe she needs to learn that when you put yourself out in the spotlight, people are going to say things.  And they are not always nice things.  I don't really know yet if she needs to learn this yet.  I just don't know.

I do, however, have this to say.

Yes, her mother has seen this video, and her mother supports her mission 100 percent.

No, she is not 5-years-old.

Yes, she *is* old enough to know about sex.  She's also old enough to wear a bra and have a period.  So it only follows that she should know why women have boobs and bleed.

Yes, she *is* old enough to know about sexual abuse.  Children younger than her - MUCH younger than her - have been sexually abused.  When I was 11-years-old, I wore a D cup bra and size 6 jeans.  If you think men aren't already ogling girls who are even less developed than I was at that age, you'd better join the rest of us in reality.

Yes, she *is* right to try to help other children become aware of this, and she *is* right to tell them that it's okay to tell a trusted adult.

Yes, the story line and dialogue are elementary.  As they should be, since they were created by an elementary school student.

Yes, she is using little plastic toys to enact her story.  If you find that weird, that's your problem.  My daughter is carrying out this message - one that is very important to her - in the only way she knows how.  You know what should bother you more than the fact that she tells her story with toys?  The fact that girls still young enough to play with toys know that sexual assault is something that they need to worry about.  And that's not on her, fellow adults.  That's on YOU.  That's on ALL of us.

And just so that I sound as motherly and cronish as humanly possible, I will end this lecture by telling you that you should be ashamed of yourself for being the kind of person who would pick on an 11-year-old for trying to make the world a better place.  Fuck you.

Anyway, her video is below.

I am very proud of you, baby girl.  You have a sensitive heart, you have a ton of empathy, and you are going to grow up strong and make this world a better place for women of all kinds and in all places.  I love you very much.

"Never stop believing that fighting for what's right is worth it...never doubt that you are valuable and powerful and deserving of every chance and opportunity to pursue and achieve your own dreams." ~HRC

On Reading, Writing, and Criminal Punishment

"'If things like this are still happening in 2016 in a very diverse county with all the resources in the world, it’s an indictment on teachers, if a 16- or 17-year-old thinks this is how you should spend a Friday night,' Dr. Sran said." from the New York Times article: Teenagers Who Vandalized Historic Black Schoolhouse Are Ordered to Read Books

It appears that some hoodlums vandalized an old schoolhouse, one that is clearly a symbol of a past where people of color were segregated, oppressed, and discriminated against even more so than they are now. Part of the judge's sentence:  Read a book from a list of texts that highlight the darkness of bigotry and discrimination, plus write an essay about the history of the swastika as a symbol of white supremacy.  Dr. Sran, "the founder of the Loudoun School for the Gifted, a private school that owns the Ashburn Colored School and is renovating it to use as an education museum," seems to think that teachers--probably public school teachers--should be blamed for the behavior of these children.  Interesting.

First of all, Dr. Sran, this is a social problem--not a teacher problem. Don't blame me for the fact that millions of people on this country turn a blind eye to bullying and racism, so much so that they allowed a racist bully to become their president and set the tone for the entire United States.  As long as we live in a country where so many of the powerful try to pretend that inequality and bigotry do not exist, we will see this kind of behavior persist.  Instead of teaching kids--implicitly or explicitly--that the poor, the weak, and "the other" are bad, lazy people who are undeserving of our assistance or compassion, perhaps we should, as a society, do something to change that.  Stop telling your kids not to give money to that homeless guy because he's just going to spend it on booze.  Stop telling your kids that people who receive SNAP benefits ("Food Stamps") are lazy addicts who should be drug tested before we allow them money to feed their families.   Stop telling your kids that undocumented immigrants are stealing their jobs.  Stop telling your kids that those women who were raped asked for it, that those black men who were unjustly killed by law enforcement "shouldn't have been breaking the law," that those Syrians who are trying to flee war and oppression are here to bomb the hell out of all of us in the name of Allah.

Furthermore, I've taught many of the books on that list. So have many of my colleagues. Many of us in the humanities are liberal snowflakes who try to teach compassion and convince kids that literature shows us what it means to be human. (By the way--not entirely sure why "The Sun Also Rises" made the list unless you want to show them the value of being a misogynist who can't get an erection, but okay.) But we can't do this alone.  We need parents, community leaders, and the media to back us up on this.  As a whole, we are not getting as much help as we need.  We're happy to educate your children and try to teach them about the importance of humility and humanity and helpfulness--but the rest of the world needs to get on board, too.  

Finally--and most importantly--a message to you, Dr. Sran, and the judge, about psychology and pedagogy. While I can appreciate that you want these children to be more educated, and I can even understand why you think this sentence could potentially change these children's attitudes--attitudes modeled for them by all kinds of people and leaders in this country--as a teacher, I have to question your decision to make reading and writing part of a criminal sentence. If the goal here is to emphasize the importance of education, why are you presenting it in a way where these children will now associate it with punishment?  Why are you saying, "You made bad choices. Now as a consequence for your deplorable actions, you have to engage in the same activities that are required of you in your Language Arts class"?  If I, as a school teacher, am part of the problem that you are trying to rectify, then why are you making my job a penalty?

I do hope that these kids read Night or I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings or--please, please--the ever so timely Tortilla Curtain.  And I do hope that the powerful writing of Elie Weisel, Maya Angelou, or T.C. Boyle will cause these children to have epiphanies, to see the world from a new perspective, and to have a deep respect for those people who have dehumanized by our society.  I hope I am wrong, and that this sentence doesn't just make these children see reading and writing as just one more thing that "the power" uses to try to "hold them down."  I hope. Because it's going to take a heck of a lot more than making some teenagers read The Color Purple to get this country back on track.