Imagine my surprise one day when just before I went to lunch on a work day, I received an e-mail alert that one of my 5th grader's YouTube videos had 18,000 likes.
What could my daughter have uploaded that could possibly receive 18,000 likes?!
So I watched it. And I didn't know what to say. Or what to think. Or if I should be alarmed.
First, I texted her stepdad and he was like, "Um, people aren't going to think that was supposed to be me, will they?" Then I shared my story with a couple of trusted coworkers, who were taken aback as well. I wondered if I should call her father and see what he thought, but I didn't. And I thought about it for the first half of my 40 minute car ride home from work.
Half way home, noting that she would be off the bus and in the house by that time, I called her.
"I noticed that your latest LPS video has 18,000 views!" I said. "How on earth do you think that happened?"
"I don't know!" she said, clearly excited and proud to have become so popular--perhaps even thinking that she was on her way to becoming a "Famous YouTuber" in her own right.
I continued. "So, that subject material was pretty heavy, right? What made you come up with the idea for that story?"
She went on to tell me that she had seen another YouTube video about a girl who was sexually abused, and how the girl became so depressed that she eventually committed suicide. My daughter decided that she should make a public service announcement of sorts. She said, "I just wanted to warn people, Mom. I don't want people to think that they can't tell an adult. I don't want people to commit suicide."
...
I told her that I thought that was a very nice thing to do, and that I was proud of her for wanting to help other people. I also reminded her that we would want her to take her own advice and let us know if anything like that ever happened to her, no matter who was behind it, because we would never be mad at her. She pretty much acted like I was a moron for thinking I would need to tell her such a thing - because like, duh, of course she would tell us.
Preteens.
Fast forward to now. It's been a couple of months and I notice yesterday that her video now has over 219,000 views. What the heck?!
Then I see the comments. I read them and I am sad, because I hope she hasn't been reading them. Because I want her to disable the comments altogether. Because people are judgmental and cruel, even to an 11-year-old girl who just did what she thought was her part in helping end sexual assault, sexual abuse, depression, and suicide.
But I haven't yet - because maybe she needs to know how people are. Maybe she needs to learn that when you put yourself out in the spotlight, people are going to say things. And they are not always nice things. I don't really know yet if she needs to learn this yet. I just don't know.
I do, however, have this to say.
Yes, her mother has seen this video, and her mother supports her mission 100 percent.
No, she is not 5-years-old.
Yes, she *is* old enough to know about sex. She's also old enough to wear a bra and have a period. So it only follows that she should know why women have boobs and bleed.
Yes, she *is* old enough to know about sexual abuse. Children younger than her - MUCH younger than her - have been sexually abused. When I was 11-years-old, I wore a D cup bra and size 6 jeans. If you think men aren't already ogling girls who are even less developed than I was at that age, you'd better join the rest of us in reality.
Yes, she *is* right to try to help other children become aware of this, and she *is* right to tell them that it's okay to tell a trusted adult.
Yes, the story line and dialogue are elementary. As they should be, since they were created by an elementary school student.
Yes, she is using little plastic toys to enact her story. If you find that weird, that's your problem. My daughter is carrying out this message - one that is very important to her - in the only way she knows how. You know what should bother you more than the fact that she tells her story with toys? The fact that girls still young enough to play with toys know that sexual assault is something that they need to worry about. And that's not on her, fellow adults. That's on YOU. That's on ALL of us.
And just so that I sound as motherly and cronish as humanly possible, I will end this lecture by telling you that you should be ashamed of yourself for being the kind of person who would pick on an 11-year-old for trying to make the world a better place. Fuck you.
Anyway, her video is below.
I am very proud of you, baby girl. You have a sensitive heart, you have a ton of empathy, and you are going to grow up strong and make this world a better place for women of all kinds and in all places. I love you very much.
"Never stop believing that fighting for what's right is worth it...never doubt that you are valuable and powerful and deserving of every chance and opportunity to pursue and achieve your own dreams." ~HRC
