Today, after six months of searching, my husband finally found a job. Naturally, I wanted to celebrate, and of course it was only fair that I allow him to choose the restaurant, right? Whereas I was hoping for something along the lines of a local place such as Deagan's, which offers menu options that are herbivore friendly, or even some place where I could order a nice bit of sushi roll (which is really kind of cheating for the type of diet I am trying to follow, but I haven't been able to let go of the raw seafood--yet), he chose Outback Steakhouse.
Before I go on with this story, I feel like I need to point out that we never go anywhere. We don't have the money for a babysitter (have you seen how much these kids charge these days?!) and as should be evident by the fact that my husband has been looking for work for half a year, going out to eat is a very, very rare treat. Furthermore, I want you to know that I love to eat. I mean I LOVE TO EAT. So I was super duper looking forward to this.
And I really didn't want to go to Outback.
For one thing, I am just tired of always going to the same places. Considering that we rarely go out to eat in the first place, to go the same restaurants every time we *do* go anywhere is just boring. Second, I don't want steak, so it doesn't make much sense for me to go to a steakhouse.
It's not that I don't like steak. It's not even that I have some big issue against eating animals. I hesitate to call myself "vegan," or a "raw foodist," or even "vegetarian," because my eating habits have only just begun to change. Furthermore, I want to make it clear that I have not changed my diet to be cool or trendy. First, I am tired of feeling like crap and being told that I need to take this drug and that drug in order to feel well and live a "normal" lifestyle; I don't buy into that anymore. I have been told not to stop taking my antidepressants or anti-anxiety meds, that the only reason I feel that I am "better" is because I keep taking them. Bullcrap. Since I started eating a primarily raw diet three months ago, I have felt tons better both physically and emotionally. In addition, I am not in the same place psychologically as I was when I reluctantly agreed to start taking said prescriptions. I think that when we are told that it is "dangerous" to quit taking the drugs we have been prescribed, often it's just the drug companies' way of making us think that we *have* to keep poisoning ourselves with their disgustingly price inflated crap so they can keep raking in more money.
The second major reason I have been trying to "go vegan" is because I have read and seen too much about where food comes from. In this country, our farm animals are confined to small spaces and surrounded by their own feces, injected with hormones to make them fatter for the slaughter, and fed corn that has been injected with Roundup. Not only do I not want to eat their flesh, but I don't want to consume their milk, either. Anything that has been ingested by these animals is going to make its way into my body as well. I don't really want my kids ingesting this toxic crap either, but I can only set what I think is a good example and take things one step at a time. Changing the entire family's diet overnight just isn't going to happen, and I don't want to be the stringent parent who lords over her kids' plates at every meal and makes them resent healthy eating for the mere sake of annoying their parents.
And the third reason that I have dropped the animals is, to be totally honest, because I am terrified of getting fat. Not much more to say here.
So back to Outback Steakhouse. We get there and I look over the menu. I figure I can order a salad of some type, no problem, right? But I soon realized that there was NOT ONE SALAD OR OTHER MEAL ON THE MENU THAT DIDN'T CONTAIN MEAT--with the exception of the house salad. So that's what I ordered...only to find out that it comes with cheese on it, so I had to make special requests in the dairy department as well. This was terribly irritating to me. I was hungry and I was supposed to be experiencing a special occasion, but all I could feel was angry that there was next to nothing on the menu that I could eat. And to be honest, making exceptions to my eating rules is not an option anymore. I have been eating raw and vegan for so many weeks now that eating anything else makes me sick. Really, really sick. Since I prefer not to spend the entire night in pain and hovering near my bathroom, I am just not going to go there.
I know. I was at a "steakhouse." But this is the year 2011, people. Get a clue. More and more people in this country are turning to veganism every day. At the very least, you'd think that a restaurant would offer vegetarian meals other than one lousy salad. But nope. Nothing.
Upon coming home, I decided to do a Google search on this to see if I was the only angry herbivore who had ever visited Outback Steakhouse. I simply searched the words "vegan Outback." The first thing I found was a blog from a "vegan" author who went on to praise the "Bloomin' Onion" appetizer as a terrific vegan menu option. Really?! Why exactly are you even bothering? Just because a dish is "vegan" doesn't make it good for you, people. We're talking about a giant batter dipped fried onion. I am trying to eat healthy foods that will not stop my heart and/or go straight to my thighs, thank you. A Bloomin' Onion just isn't an option.
But more interesting than the dumb Bloomin' Onion blogger was this e-mail I found on the Vegan Eating Out website. Apparently, someone e-mailed the corporate office with some kind of questions or demands concerning the lack of vegan choices on the menu. Now here's the first thing that is ridiculous about Outback's response: "Vegan" suggestion #1 is the "Blue Cheese Chopped Salad." Are you kidding, you corporate buffoons? Since when is blue cheese, or any other cheese for that matter, NOT an animal product? In the e-mail, the corporation goes on to suggest that the customer eat a baked potato, or a sweet potato, or even a lovely slice of bread. Here's a clue, Outback Corporate Imbiciles: THE FACT THAT WE CHOOSE NOT TO EAT ANIMAL PRODUCTS DOES NOT INHERENTLY MEAN THAT WE DON'T WANT AN ACTUAL MEAL. Are you seriously suggesting that your vegan customers simply order a side of steamed broccoli, or dine on preservative-laden pumpernickle bread alone? If so, you are, quite simply put, a-holes.
I ate your stupid salad--which, by the way, would have been more worth the $6 you charged me if it had at the very least been made with romaine rather than iceberg lettuce--and went on with my life. But I refuse to be happy about it.
To be fair to my husband, who just wanted to eat a delicious shrimp appetizer in celebration of his new employment, he, too, was disgusted that there were nearly no options for me to eat. In fact, he considered going somewhere else, but we'd already started to order and it would have just been a pain in the neck. It's hard to enjoy your meal when your spouse can't enjoy hers as well.
So listen, Outback Steakhouse people: You need to get with the program. Even soup kitchens offer animal free options these days. When you can't even keep up with the cheapest meal in town, there is something really wrong with you.
In a sick irony, after dinner my husband wanted to get a good cappuccino, so we went to The Root and, go figure, the menu included leftovers from Thursday's raw vegan night, but I'd already eaten a giant bowl of iceberg lettuce and I was too full to bother. *sigh*